Here is a list of
links to some writing I did for an office catalog.
My stuff is the hilarious stuff at the bottom
of the webpage. My intent was to make
someone’s day with humor to perhaps trigger a buying decision. I have the idea that some of these could go
viral, but have no idea how that process works and am not the type of person to
leave “spomments”, it just doesn’t seem like something that I would ever
do. I was happy to make my boss happy!
At the end of the
links is a few ways I described trashcans for the catalog.
This Section is about trashcans…..
Metal Pedal Bin
90125
Put your pedal to the metal with our line of Galvanized
Steel rock and roll inspired bins. The
larger sizes are built with a very rock-star-ish shock absorber(20L &
28L). This feature allows you, the
office rock star, to silently take care of your sanitation needs in absolute
aural privacy. Bin any and all waste
without anyone being the wiser about your habits. Your road manager will love the fact that
the inner plastic bucket is anti-bacterial and comes with a carrying handle. Perhaps the biggest attraction is that your
slovenly drummer will not be able to resist using the rod assembly foot pedal
on these beauties when you lie to him and tell him that they were designed by
RINGO STARR.
Who might use this item besides Rock-stars-
This bin can be used by Disco artists, Dee-jays, R&B,
typists, office managers, housewives, children of every age, race and
colour. This is a truly universal bin
steadfastly welcomes use by anyone in the human race, even some animals, like
that Labrador retriever who learned the command “garbage” and would take the item
of refuse from his owner’s outstretched hand, walk to the bin, put a paw on the
pedal and bin the refuse. He was out
performing the drummer until the Other interesting features.
If one were to equip
a drummer with the full complement of these one would have an award winning
video. Assembling all the bins in the
office together is also a great idea for your office talent night. Shoot your own video and go viral on the
internet, sales will rocket! You are the
fun tax adjustors on the block! (Just buy the bins from us!) discounts on multiple purchase of the same
item. drummer suddenly got interested when we mentioned Richard Starkey’s stage
name to him Rectangular Pedal Bin
90701-
Everybody’s Favorite
Quadrilateral is featured in this crowd
pleasing white finish. Why is the crowd
so happy with what appears, at first glance, to be just another rubbish
bin? The answer is in how easily
customizable a white bin like this is with a handful of markers. Turn it into a fabulous creature that when
you press the Pedal shows you a mouth full of jagged teeth. Do painstaking recreations of classic
paintings like “Starry Night” for your office dreamers of “the Scream” for the
guy who spends most of his work day forging references and sending out
resumes. Some Office managers
reportedly let the bins form alliances
like they do on all those stupid tee-vee shows and see which alliance wins the
most "binnie" awards.
Who might use this item?
Anyone with a handful of refuse and the hand eye co-ordination to
operate the foot pedal in concert with their hands is a candidate to use this
bin. Anarchists may decide to make a
political statement by not using the pedal, but 93% of the human race
understands the relevant technology and necessity for using bins in the
workplace. Sensitive Bin
90728
The double-0-seven of
“Her Majesty's Binning Service” (H.M.B.S.) this extremely spy- friendly wonder
automatically opens and closes via infrared technology. This bin is also perfect for the sloppy cook
who is too un-coordinated to use traditional pedal bins but still yearns for
cookie batter free outer trashcans.
Who might use such a bin, besides spies?
The sensitive nature of a bin like this demands that I check
your clearances before I discuss further with you, the internet, what kind of
sensitivities this bin is cleared to handle.
Let’s for now speak in the generalities so that we don’t give away any
H.M.B.S. ultra top secrets. Plastic Swing Lid Bin
91940-
This futuristic use of plastic and swing lid technology was
all the rage at 1946 “World's Fair Kitchen of The Future" exhibit. Swing lid lovers already have 2021 circled on
their calendars for the 75th Anniversary GALA.
Round Pedal Bin
91975
Mick Jagger's
Favorite bin and my favorite bin to sing about at a Karoke night
( To the tune of
"Brown Sugar.")
"Round,”
“round pedal, how
come you trash so good?”
“Round,”
“round pedal, just
like a trash bin should."
Who might use this
bin- People who typically generate small
amounts of refuse would use the smallr sizes, which hold 3 litres. People with larger amounts of daily refuse
generation would obviously use the larger sizes, depending on space
considerations, staffing levels, and whether the trash can is by the smoking
area, in which case you will have no shortage of volunteers to go smoke a fag
while they take out the rubbish.
Hands free operation
due to “step to open” lid/pedal combination.
This sleek classic
bin design has won all the major bin awards and is sure to be honored in the
inaugural class of the Sanitation technology Hall of Fame when it has its much
anticipated Grand Opening later this year.
Anything else
interesting about this item?
This item is about as
interesting as a round white plastic trash bin can be and they are thinking seriously
about filming a movie about the excitement that comes along with the official designation of temporary
sanitational storage receptacle. Tom
Hanks is rumored to be the voice of the trashcan.
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